Well, maybe not the Wells Fargo wagon, but mail nonetheless! (You should know by now that living with Hannah Jane means there is ALWAYS a song reference. ALWAYS.)
I had one of the most restless nights sleep I have had in a long time last night. Tossing and turning and asking Google about every hour what time it was, and checking Amazon to be sure my package wasn't delayed. I finally got up, had a cup of coffee and came to work. It wasn't doing me any good being at home stressing when I could be in my office being productive. (Well, productive after I share this post. LOL)
Today is the day I will hold my book in my hands for the first time.
It went on sale over the weekend, which was excitement beyond my imagination, but today it will feel real. It will be tangible. I love books, ya'll! Reading has always been a joy for me. It's not necessarily something I can describe, but I feel safe and insulated when I am buried inside a book. And it doesn't matter what kind of book - because I read them all. Oddly enough, when I write I get that same insulated feeling. Today, I am anxiously awaiting that feeling, this time, between the covers of something I created.
You must know, I am also an old-fashioned weirdo when it comes to books. There is nothing I love more than the smell of a new book. The first time you open it there is an anticipation of what's to come. Just like with other things in life, we associate smells with memories, or things that we like. The smell of a new book stirs something inside of me that makes me want to shut out the world and sit in a corner and read all day. The downside of this affection with actual books is that my teenie tiny apartment is filled with books - many (sadly) that I have never read. I just couldn't resist the purchase - fresh crisp pages and a cover that has no signs of wear and tear. It was pure perfection just begging to go home with me. Some women can't resist clothing, shoes and purses (being honest, I have a little of that, too) but my impulse buy is always books.
But I imagine today's book holding experience will be different.
A dear friend asked me, "So, what does it feel like to have this done and out there?" I stopped for a moment because I haven't really thought about that emotion yet. I was still flying on the Adrenalin that I could type my name into Amazon and something would actually come up! I thought for a moment and and said "It actually feels like I just delivered a baby in a lot of ways." Mama's you know what I am talking about. Writing it was a process, some days it came easy other days it was a struggle. But the result is indescribable. (And, it actually took me right around nine months to complete, so there's that.) I created something and put it out into the world. And it feels pretty amazing if I do say so myself.
I imagine there are many people who purchased over the weekend (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) that will have it in their hands before I get mine. (NYC mail isn't always the quickest.) When you get it, do me a favor. Open it gently and take a big whiff of that beautiful new book smell and run your hands across it's soft new cover ... and think of me.
For now, all I can do is get to work and wait.
"O-ho the Wells Fargo wagon is a comin' down the street I hope it will be for me!"